Her face was the kind that draws your gaze and holds it gently, not because of perfection, but because of harmony. Her skin carried a soft, natural glow, like morning light brushed across warm stone. High cheekbones lent her features quiet strength, while the gentle curve of her jaw spoke of grace rather than sharpness.

Her eyes were luminous – deep and alive, reflecting emotion with every flicker, as if they held more stories than words ever could. Their color shifted with the light, sometimes bright and clear, sometimes shadowed and mysterious. Framed by dark lashes, they gave her an expression that was both open and knowing.

Her lips, full yet subtle, rested in the faintest suggestion of a smile — one that promises kindness, curiosity, perhaps a hint of mischief. Her nose was delicate and balanced, completing the symmetry of her face without demanding attention.

Altogether, her beauty felt effortless – not the result of artifice, but of something deeply human: warmth, confidence, and a quiet spark of spirit that made her unforgettable.

I was living in Westport at the time. 2310 Sidney Avenue. This was back in 1999.

I was driving in my car when I got the call from the police saying that someone was trying to break into my house. Did I know a woman called Patti? She was claiming to be my friend and simply wanted a place to sleep in peace and quiet.

Carrollton Ridge. Present Day.

Patti was married, a mother of two girls, from Arbutus. Until she got hooked on heroin. I knew her from my old neighborhood in Carrolltown Ridge. I used to pick her up, pay for her, and we would talk as I drove around the city. I enjoyed her conversation. She was easy to talk to.

I fell asleep at the wheel going down the beltway after being up for 36 hours straight.

I talked the police into letting Patti go. She had sought me out. She just wanted something to eat and a place to sleep. She had been up for more than two days. I really didn’t understand her explanation why she had been up for so long but it involved several dudes threatening her with baseball bats where she was currently living.

I went down to Jack’s and bought her some pancakes.

Westport. Present Day.

When I returned from Jack’s, I found Patti shooting up. Instinctively, I grabbed my camera and started shooting.

I spent at least an hour documenting her nodding off on my back porch.

Carrollton Ridge. Present Day.

I put together some props trying to say something. I took a photo of Patti’s syringe and spoon along with the books “The Mesolimbic Dopamine System: From Motivation to Action” along with “Maxwell’s Demon: Entropy, Information, Computing.”

Westport. Present Day.

I took a picture of “The Eye” (1946) by M. C. Escher hanging on my living room wall.

“The Eye” is a lithograph that depicts a single human eye in extreme close-up — and in the pupil, Escher has drawn the reflection of a skull. It is a meditation on the relationship between seeing and knowing; the ever-present reality of death; and the fragile boundary between self and world. It turns the act of looking itself into a profound encounter with impermanence.

Westport. Present Day.

My last photograph of Patti shows her lying naked, asleep on my bed, finally able to rest. This absolutely gorgeous woman is totally emaciated. Heroin had become more important than food

Carrollton Ridge. Present Day.

Significantly, M. C. Escher’s “Relativity” (1953) was hanging on the wall next to Patti’s bed. It is one of Escher’s most famous lithographs, and it explores the relationship between perception, perspective, and the nature of reality. The artwork presents a world where the normal rules of gravity do not apply — a complex architectural space with multiple stairways and figures moving in different directions, each following their own “gravitational” orientation.

In Escher’s world, up, down, and sideways coexist simultaneously. The image asks viewers to question their assumption about what is “real” or “logical.” It visually represents a universe where multiple realities can exist at once — a metaphor for the subjectivity of perception.

Heroin-Induced Respiratory Depression

Once heroin enters the body, it crosses the blood-brain barrier very quickly and is converted into morphine. Morphine binds to mu-opioid receptors that are densely located in the brainstem, especially in areas that control breathing — the medulla oblongata and pons.

Heroin-Induced Respiratory Depression continued

These brainstem centers normally monitor levels of carbon dioxide and oxygen in the blood, automatically adjusting breathing rate and depth. When opioids activate mu-opioid receptors here, they inhibit neurons that drive respiration.

This decreases the sensitivity to carbon dioxide buildup and also decreases the transmission of signals to the spinal motor neurons that control the diaphragm and intercostal muscles.

Heroin-Induced Respiratory Depression continued

As a result, breathing becomes slower (bradypnea), then shallower (hypoventilation). Eventually the respiratory rhythm can stop altogether (apnea).

Heroin-Induced Respiratory Depression continued

Because the person is no longer exhaling carbon dioxide effectively, carbon dioxide levels rise (hypercapnia) and oxygen levels fall (hypoxia). The brain and heart become deprived of oxygen, leading to loss of consciousness, cardiac arrest, and death if not reversed.

Heroin-Induced Respiratory Depression continued

Key neurophysiological concept:

Heroin hyperpolarizes neurons in the brainstem’s respiratory centers by opening potassium channels and inhibiting calcium channels, thus reducing neurotransmitter release. This silences the rhythmic firing patterns that sustain breathing.

Heroin-Induced Respiratory Depression continued

What does hyperpolarization mean?

Every neuron has an electrical resting potential, usually around -70 millivolts (mV) inside relative to outside. For a neuron to “fire” (generate an action potential), it must depolarize — that is, the inside becomes less negative, reaching a threshold (around -55 mV).

Hyperpolarization means the opposite: The neuron’s membrane potential becomes more negative than its resting state — making it less likely to fire. In essence, the neuron’s membrane potential becomes “quieter” or less excitable

Heroin-Induced Respiratory Depression continued

How fentanyl and heroin kill? How opioids cause hyperpolarization.

When morphine binds to mu-opioid receptors on neurons in the brainstem’s respiratory centers, those receptors activate specific G-proteins. This sets off two main effects:

(1). Opening of potassium channels. G-protein activation opens GIRK (G-protein- activated inwardly rectifying potassium) channels. Potassium ions flow out of the neuron, carrying positive charge away. The inside of the cell becomes more negative —> hyperpolarized. This reduces the chance that the neuron will reach threshold and fire an action potential.

(2). Inhibition of calcium channels. Opioid receptors activate specific activation also blocks voltage-gated calcium channels at the presynaptic terminal. Less calcium enters the terminal —> less neurotransmitter release (especially glutamate, which normally excites postsynaptic neurons).

So, at the cellular level: mu-opioid receptor activation —> hyperpolarization —> decreased neuronal firing —> suppressed respiratory rhythm.

My Patti photos were my first venture into photography. I felt I had done something important, but I didn’t know what to do with them.

I put together a little album and started going around town showing it off in bars.

The collection of photos didn’t elicit any response whatsoever from the shock trauma doctor from the hospital.

On the other hand, a husband and his pregnant wife saw them. The husband took both his hands and grabbed me by the front of my shirt and started jerking me around. He was outraged that I had caught Patti shooting up in my home. He let me go when I told him the pictures would prevent his unborn daughter from overdosing state age of twelve.

For the longest time I couldn’t figure out why my album troubled me so profoundly. Then, out of the blue, I had my answer. Anybody, male or female could end up on the streets of Carrollton Ridge selling themselves.

Thus for Marcuse, political liberation must also be psychologicall liberation — freeing desire from economic domination.

Marcuse said capitalism demands surplus repression to keep workers obedient, anxious, disciplined, and productive.

Reich argued the masses become psychologically conditioned to accept fascism or capitalism.

Thus, political change requires liberating the body and changing emotional structures—not just seizing the means of production.